Thursday, May 8, 2008

Here we go again...

Well, we started our 5th cycle this week. We debated about doing another cycle, but the money was provided and it worked out perfect before we leave for the summer.

I am honestly numb about it. I was praying to the Lord today. I feel like I haven't prayed about this cycle like the other cycles. However, I know He is "El Roi" the God who sees. So, he knows my heart and my longings. Yet, I know he commands me to pray too. So, I was praying about God being the creator of the earth and quoted the scripture I have taught Jadyn "in the beginning God created heaven and earth." Then I went to the scriptures today and He gave me the same sweet words I was praying...... (El Roi)
"happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help whose hope is in the Lord his God,
who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that this is in them, who keeps truth forever. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord raises those who are bowed down." ps 146

These verses just challenged me to remember who is in control. Who is the maker of all things.

As I gave myself three shoots tonight, Jadyn would say,"mommy, what you doing?" "Giving myself a shot." She would say, "oh, ok" My heart just broke...why does it have to be this way for me? This is not fun "making a baby." Those are my thoughts and feelings but they pass.
The truth is that life could be allot worse! So many people can't afford to do fertility or adopt and their arms are empty. Mine aren't. :) Thank you Lord!

Back to Normal!

Really, thank you so much for your suggestions. I was so glad to hear them! Ya'll all were right. battle of the will! It was just a phase and she is going back to sleep again. I can live! Last night I bawled my eyes out as I layed her down because it was such a sweet time. Even though I want to scream in the day... sometimes at night I don't want to lay her down. Especially, when she is so sweet and wants to kiss!

She isn't doing crib time (where she used to would play for an hour), but I got the timer back out and put it on 15 min. She pretty much cried the whole time. So, when the timer went off... I came in and I said, "did you have fun in your crib?" She said," yes!" (no she didn't) I said, "what did you play with?" She began to list all the things in the crib that were totally not touched in the tubs! ha ha...thought that was funny..... and learning as a mom!!!!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Help!! Moms!

Ok, so Jadyn is totally been on babywise since she was 8 weeks old! Naps and night-time have been a piece of cake.....until this past weekend. She literally screams saying she doesn't want to nap or go to sleep. I mean I am spanking the kid to go to sleep. AHHHHH it's horrible....She wants a toy or a book. So, I give it to her "not that one...something else" ...yes, she is playing me. She even wakes up in the night to do this. Did your two year olds go through this??? After screaming....she goes to sleep. help?